My Favorite Things-Baby

I love reading "favorite things" blog posts on my favorite blogs for some reason.  The other day I decided it would be fun to do some of my own.  I hope they will be helpful to someone else, but I also thought it would be fun to look back on down the road and see how things have changed.  I put together a list of my favorite baby things for a friend so I thought that'd be an easy list to start with.

Bumbo-I LOVE our Bumbo.  We put our babies in them starting at about six weeks.  Even though our babies are chunky and their legs get stuck most of the time, they are still great for babies who can't sit up yet.  They are light and can be taken anywhere.

Rock 'n play-We got one when Maylee was born and have used it for she and Daxton until they were several months old.  They help the newborns not startle so easy and are great for reflux problems.

Aiden and Anais swaddle blankets-These might just be my all-time favorite baby item.  Love that they are huge (receiving blankets fit our babies for about 2.5 days), lightweight and yet they still swaddle tightly for newborns.  Maylee still uses hers to sleep with.

Gerber colic drops-These were a lifesaver for Daxton when he was really colicky.  They took about a week to kick in, but made a world of difference.  You give 5 drops daily to the infant for these and that's it.

Gas drops-Especially for bottle fed babies these are awesome instant relief for tummy aches.

Colic Calm or Gripe Water-We tried Colic Calm with Daxton and it seemed to help.  It was actually really great for hiccups, which he had all the time.   

Nuk pacifiers-Like the bottles these have orthodontic nipples.

Bouncer that will really bounce!  We've tried several different kinds, but ended up with one like this from a yard sale and it bounces with even the slightest movement so the baby gets bounced from a young age.  Love it.

Lamaze toys-I don't know what it is about these toys, but I love them and the babies seem to, as well.  There are lots of different ones and we love them all.  The ones that have black and white patterns on the back are great for young babies to stare at.

Carters gowns (other brands tend to be shorter) for newborns and then for later jammies that zip instead of button or snap make middle of the night diaper changes so much easier.

Nuk orthodontic bottles

Dr. Brown's bottles-these really helped Daxton when he had big problems spitting up and was really gassy.

Nuk sippy cups with soft nippy to transition from bottle-they have the nipple like a bottle, but are a sippy cup.

Arm & Hammer diaper dispensers-These are another one of my most favorite things because they make dirty diapers on the go much easier.  Stick the diaper in them and if you have to take it with you until you find a place to throw it away and you don't have to smell it.

Graco Pack 'n Play-Great for traveling, but ones with the bassinet are also nice for young infants at home if you don't want to buy a bassinet.  Maylee, at almost 2 years old, will still only sleep in the pack 'n play.

Moby wrap (can make homemade with 6 yards jersey knit cut down the middle longways and put something on it to know where the middle is if desired)-I have loved mine for the second and third babies.  I wrap them in it and have my hands free to do chores, hold other kids, etc.  I like it so much better than any other baby carrier we have and it's way easier to carry with us when we travel or just keep in the car.  If you make your own you can find instructions on how to fold it here http://www.mobywrap.com/mw/instructions-moby.htm.

Swing that can go front to back and side to side and has option to plug in or use batteries.

Stroller that can go over tough areas (rocks, etc.)-we love our Phil & Teds, but they are pricey.  Costco usually has them for a decent deal.  We bought ours when Mikayla was born and have used it since.  You can do all kinds of configurations with it and it's awesome.  I would recommend buying the car seat bar that fits whatever car seat you buy.

Umbrella stroller-fast and small for keeping in the car for older kids.

Car seat-as lightweight as you can get.  Pay attention to weight/height restrictions for when they will outgrow them. You'll also want to pay attention to how easy the base is to install and uninstall in the car and what strollers you can hook it into.

Spoons with rubber ends/metal when you first start feeding solids

Colorful playmat-Totally a luxury, but our babies have loved it.

Infant bathtub with sling for newborns-so much easier than using the sink!

If you have any other favorites I might have forgotten or never tried leave a comment and let me know!

Daddy's Boy

3 Years

In June it will have been 3 years since we moved into our house.  We've loved it here and so many memories have been made in our little home.  Two kiddos have come home from the hospital to this house, we have spent countless hours working on making it a "home", celebrated many wonderful holidays here, but mostly we have just lived normal day-to-day life in our home.  It's become our refuge.  Our favorite place.

I came across pictures of the day we moved into our house and I was surprised by how much the outside has changed.  Dustin, along with tons of help from family, has put a ton of time into working on the yard.  It's massive so it's definitely not done, but I thought it was interesting to see the changes.

June 2011

May 2014

Breastfeeding

This post has been on my mind for quite some time.  For some it will be way too much information, so feel free to skip on reading now.  I am hoping though that it will be of some comfort to someone, somewhere.  It is now 1:50 a.m. and as I was up feeding my babe my mind was once again on the subject that has brought me so many struggles-breastfeeding-so here I am.

I am not here to tell you the million and one reasons you should breastfeed.  We are all aware of those.  I am not here to tell you that bottle feeding is the way to go because I am afraid I would be lying if I tried to tell you how wonderful it is.  I am just here to tell you our story (and I say "our" because Dustin and our babes have been through just as much as me with this journey).

When I was pregnant with Mikayla we decided after she was born she would be breastfed.  It was the logical choice.  Not only was it obviously the best choice for her health, but financially it would be the most logical answer as well.  Fast forward to when she was born and our journey as parents began.  We breastfed.  I was so excited to be a mom.  I wanted to be the best mom possible and I was well on my well because we were breastfeeding as all the perfect moms should!  

Mikayla started losing weight the day she was born and didn't gain much for quite some time.  To put it in perspective, at 6 months Mikayla was 12 pounds 6 ounces (to compare to our others kids-at 6 months Maylee was 20 pounds 3 ounces and at 4 months Daxton is 17 pounds 8 ounces).  Our pediatrician was aware there was some sort of problem so he recommended Fenugreek, an herb that is known to increase production.  I took it and we dealt with the maple syrup smell that comes along with its use.  After that didn't help we tried pumping.  I would feed Mikayla, then pump, I would pump in between feeds and I would pump if Mikayla slept a long stretch in the night-all in hopes of increasing production.  I remember being so excited to see 1 ounces of breast milk in those bottles and that was a rare occasion.  I literally cried over spilled milk should I lose even a couple of drops.  I worked so hard for that little bit of "liquid gold" and I was devastated over any bit that didn't get to my baby.  

After those efforts were in vain and we still couldn't get Mikayla to gain the weight she needed our pediatrician recommended trying formula.  I was devastated.  Wasn't every woman supposed to be able to be able to feed her baby?  After more tears than I would like to admit, prayers and a blessing we decided to try formula.  I'm not sure why it was so hard for me to give her formula, but for me it was like admitting defeat.  If I couldn't feed my own baby, I couldn't be that "perfect" mom I wanted to be.  Even worse, when we gave her the formula she spewed it everywhere.  She hated it.  We were frustrated and had no idea what to do for her.    

We decided at some point to switch pediatricians to see if we could find some more answers.  After we met with the new pediatrician we were encouraged that he was going to help us get to the bottom of things (after informing us that a 12 pound 6 month old was definitely not good).  After we left his office I looked at the receipt where the pediatricians mark the code for what services were rendered in order to charge the correct amount.  Mikayla's visit not only earned her an "initial office visit" mark, but also a "failure to thrive" mark.  I was devastated.  Talk about about feeling like a total failure as a mom.  Our baby wasn't doing well and we had no idea what to do about it.

Since we had already tried supplementing with no success in her gaining weight he first ordered a test for cystic fibrosis, then we were to go from there.  The test was simple, but boy were we ever nervous.  After waiting days for the results we finally got word it was negative.  The next step was to try a very pricey formula in hopes that it would deter other tests for diseases that would cause her not to gain weight.   Nutramigen it was.  We shouted hallelujahs when she tolerated it.  Two weeks after being on it she had gained 2 pounds and we were so excited.  Excited until the pediatrician asked us if we had been using more powder than we should in order to help her gain weight.  Really?  Seriously?  I was so upset.  After all the heartache we had been through to try and do the absolute best thing for our baby he was accusing us of that? 

Mikayla thrived off that pricey formula.  I continued to breastfeed first, then supplement with a bottle after each feeding.  After a while she weaned herself from breastfeeding and over time we were able to switch her to soy.  When she turned a year old we started her on whole milk, as instructed.  At 15 months we were told perhaps she was gaining too much weight and skim milk would be a better option for her.  I was blown away.  Didn't they remember how hard we worked to "fatten" her up?  And now we were told it was too much?

Fast forward to Maylee.  She was 9 pounds 15 ounces at birth and a hungry girl.  After our experience with Mikayla we were aware that my body had trouble producing milk and we were prepared for the possibility that all might not go as planned.  She got her first bottle the evening we brought her home.  I had nursed her for hours straight and she was still crying, wanting to eat.  We gave her an ounce of milk and she slept.  I continued to nurse her at every feed and after the feeds when she had nursed well and was still hungry, she would get an extra ounce.  We were happy with this arrangement and she was content.  

When we took her to the pediatrician she was gaining weight well, but the pediatrician wasn't pleased we were giving her formula.  She informed us of all her success stories of breastfeeding while I stared at pictures all over the walls of moms breastfeeding and the counters covered with breastfeeding books.  I'm sorry, we had been down that road before and had been heartbroken after every effort failed and we weren't ready to do that again.  The extra ounce here and there seemed to be doing the trick, but at her two week appointment Maylee started to not gain as much as she should.  We saw the writing on the wall and upped the amount of formula she got after breastfeeding. Like magic, she gained the weight she needed.  Not exactly success the way I had hoped, but it was working and we stuck with it.

Thinking my body would kick in and know just what to do with Daxton, I was so excited to try breastfeeding once again.  His first night he nursed constantly and cried constantly when he wasn't nursing.  By the middle of the night I was spent having nursed for hours and hours straight.  Nothing else would calm him down for even a minute.  When I finally woke Dustin up I was bawling out of frustration.  He once again gave me a blessing and then we decided together that we should give him a bottle.  It seems like such a little thing to write that, but for me, it was admitting total defeat and feeling like I was a failure.  My baby was only a day old and I was giving up.

The craziest thing happened when Dustin went to get that bottle.  That nurse didn't chew him out for giving our baby formula!  It was the first time that someone in the medical profession hadn't belittled us for our choice.  I cried and cried when Dustin came back and I asked him what the nurse said when he requested a bottle because reported she was kind.  She was understanding.  She was just what we needed.

For some reason, breastfeeding is such an emotional thing for me.  I am not a crier and I don't tend to be emotional, especially for others to see.  I think I have shed more tears over breastfeeding than in all the rest of my life combined.  I've shed tears over the hopes of being successful. Tears over the devastation of realizing each time my babies lose weight it's because I can't give them what they need, over each comment from someone who insists I'm just not trying hard enough or that there's no way breastfeeding can't work for someone.  I've shed tears because of the gratitude that we have formula and I have a way to keep my babies healthy and strong, despite my body's shortcomings.  

I've wanted so badly to be successful.  I feel like I can say that we have honestly tried everything we can to be successful.  Breastfeeding just hasn't worked for us.  It's been funny as we've struggled how many women have come to me after they see me bottle feeding my babies to tell me their stories of how difficult breastfeeding was for them or how they just weren't able to do it for various reasons.  I smile and thank them for their kind words and wonder "Where were you when I was struggling and thinking I was the only one who ever had a problem with breastfeeding?!?"  

I guess my reason for writing all of this is in hopes that someone who goes through this crazy emotional roller coaster called breastfeeding, only to find that their ride ends up broken and cut short, is to let you know that you are not alone.

Serious Bedhead

I have no idea how someone with so little hair can have such bad bedhead every morning.

Testimony

It was fast Sunday in our ward this past Sunday and while we were sitting there listening to everyone bear their testimonies Mikayla leaned over and asked me when it was going to be her turn to go up.  I told her that she could go up any time she wanted if she had something she wanted to say for her testimony.  We talked about the things that she could testify of for a minute, then she said she was ready and wanted to go up.  I told her that she had to do it all by herself if she went up there and she did it!  She went up and sat next to a counselor in the bishopric and waited her turn, then got up to the microphone.  This is what she said when she bore her testimony:

"I'd like to bear my testimony.  I have a family.  {LONG pause and me mouthing from the audience to say "amen" while she's looking at me} WHAAAATTT?? (while looking at me and trying to figure out what I was mouthing)  Amen (the Bishop helped her to end it while I was about halfway up the aisle to then I was roped into bearing my testimony, too).

I was so proud of her.  Not only did her testimony bring me to tears because it was so sweet and pure, but because it was a huge step for her and showed how much more confident she is becoming.  She is turning into quite the little lady and I am excited for her to be confident in knowing who she is because she is truly amazing.

See that little heart there in her hand?  The kids made those in sharing time and promised to do a secret act of service for someone in their family, then leave the heart behind for whoever they did the service for.  On Monday she came and got me and was so excited to show me that she cleaned my room for me (by throwing everything on the bed or in the closet, but the floor was spotless!).  I thought she was trying to earn brownie points with me so she could go on a trip with Grandad and Nana that she was supposed to be being good for.  When Dustin got home she was so excited to show him our room.  She told him that she cleaned it for me, but "I couldn't find my heart to leave it behind".  Oh man did my heart swell up.  Here I was thinking she was doing something nice only to get the reward she was wanting, but she proved me very wrong.  She had listened in primary and done exactly what she was supposed to do.  She is a Sunbeam-I didn't think Sunbeams even paid attention in church!  That is so spectacular to me.  Mikayla has a very kind heart and loves to make people happy.  

Laundry Baskets and Cookies

What started as a random photo op for Daxton turned into pictures for all, due to jealous sisters.  It is kind of fun to see the size difference for all the kids when each is in the same basket.

This was the attempt to get everyone in the basket.  Not so successful.

Baking.  We love to do it together.  This was one of those magical moments when everyone was having a blast and loving each other. 

4 Months

Happy.

Giggly.

Chunky.

Anti-naps.  Except at random times like at the dinner table or when he's being burped.

Alert.

Curious.

Always hungry.

Loved.